COLUMN: Senseless masking, celebrity apologies and a ‘face for radio’


This week’s column is another one of those where I just put together a few random thoughts I have had throughout the last week or so. I can assure you that none of them individually warrant a whole column devoted to them, but collectively, they might take up a few inches of space on a newspaper page. 

It’s been a pretty hectic week here at the old homestead and I found myself without a topic for this week’s column. That happens once in a while and I wind up scrambling for a topic. Most of the time I sit and stare at my computer screen until something pops into my head. Tonight, I am staring at a computer screen while tending to text messages from both daughters, affection from cats who seem to be starving for it, and the overwhelming desire not to bore any of you. Really, I know one or two of you will get bored and say so, but you are the ones who always do, so carry on as usual.

This morning, I was driving to work and was in traffic next to a very nice car. It was a vintage Mercedes-Benz convertible, red with a tan leather interior. It was probably from the late ‘70s but looked brand new. Clearly the owner of such a car cared for it greatly. 

The owner was 60-ish and was one of those types who looked like he had money: sunglassed and tanned, ruggedly handsome with his sailing cap and expensive sunglasses. He was probably very popular at the club. 

While being handsome and sunglassed and tanned, he was also wearing a mask. 

Alone in the car, he was wearing a face mask. 

For all I knew, he was a surgeon and was on his way to work, but all the surgeons I know usually put the masks on when they get to work and are about to perform surgery. 

Let’s review. This guy was in a car, a convertible, exposed to open air, outside, and wearing a mask. 

I get that a lot of people are still nervous about COVID, but I am reasonably certain he was not going to get it from himself going 70 miles per hour on a highway.

It reminded me of when I was driving with a friend and his mother and his mother locked the doors of the car when a couple of shady looking fellows drove alongside of her. I’ve known a crook or two in my life and I am sure these guys were on the wrong side of the law, but I have never seen anyone leap from a moving car to another moving car to grab a woman’s purse. 

Later on today, I was reading about some celebrity who was apologizing about some mean tweets she had sent to other celebrities. These tweets apparently were so venomous that they cost the celebrity some endorsement deals. The timing of her apology was perfect. She only apologized after losing millions of dollars in product endorsements. 

This was big news and some of the usually reputable news sites were debating whether she should be forgiven. 

Somehow, this was headline news. 

Clearly, this woman has a lot of money and not a lick of sense. Being a celebrity does not allow you to do anything you want to do and think the average American will feel sorry for you when you lose your endorsement deals. You don’t care when the average American loses anything, so why should we care about you?

I asked a few folks what they thought and most of them said “Boo hoo, and ‘rhymes with itch’.”

With the world reopening, I have decided that I am going to explore the world of public speaking again. I have reached out to a few organizations and might be hitting the circuit again very soon. I look forward to seeing a lot of you soon. 

It’s been a wild ride for the last year and I know we are glad to see things slowly going back to normal. If you do come out to see and hear me speak, please don’t worry whether you are wearing a mask. I have been fully vaccinated and, for the most part, I feel fine. 

I don’t think there was anything in the vaccine I should have been worried about. I have gotten used to the triple vision and the extra toes. Everything I eat tastes like rusty pennies and barbecue sauce, but at least I don’t have COVID. 

I was asked if I would be willing to speak at a luncheon next week and I asked if I had to wear a mask. They respectfully requested that I do. I let them know I was vaccinated and they said that wasn’t the case. 

“You have a face for radio,” I was told.  

Joe Weaver, a native of Baltimore, is a husband, father, pawnbroker and gun collector. From his home in New Bern, he writes on the lighter side of family life.

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